My breastfeeding story

I think this is an important for me to post as it took me a long time to accept that it wasn't going to work out for us. My story is a very brief one that only lasted two weeks. 

I struggled from the offset and had a lots of tears that went with that. When in hospital and the first few days home I was souly breast feeding but she would struggle to latch or would be onnfor such a short amount of tine and then be hungry a few minutes later. 

When in hospital I remember getting very upaet and another Mum on the ward reassured me and said that it was a struggle with her too, this helped a little until that night. Lilly had been fussy since Daddy had left and wouldn't latch at all. In the end a lovely midwife came over, got me to lie on my side, got Lilly to latch a told me to close my eyes and gdt some sleep. She said that she would check on me soon and move Lilly if need be. I woke about 3 in the morning to find Lilly fast asleep in the cot. That was the only midwife in the two days I was a in hospital that actually offered help to me with feeding her.

On another occasion I knew thar Lilly was hungry and could not get her to latch, Liam went to find  my midwife to tell her I needed help, she arrived half an hour later because she didn't want to miss her lunch break and didn't think of sending anyone else to help.

After a few days I then decided to pump as well which started off ok but I wasn't getting a lot if milk out. This also made the struggle of feeding her worst and just seemes such a struggle to even get any milk in her. Liam suggested getting some formula in and give that a go as well, combine the two. 


This started to work quite well for a few days and I continued to try and feed. She still wasn't latching properly unless I was lying on my side. In the end she was on for 40 minutes and still seemed hungry, she then took 3 ounces of fomula. I tried pumping still but was only getting an ounce a time. 

I think to me this was the point that I thought that it just wasn't fair on either of us and decided to bottle feed her from then on. 

Looking back, if these was more help in the hospital or even after I would bave continue for longer, and looking back, maybe if I'de have persisted. It made me so upset that I felt inadequate BUT now I look back,  I am proud that I managed two weeks, I have a healthy and happy daughter,  and if we have more in the future I will hopefully have a better experience.

xXx

Comments

  1. I think that the lack of support, or knowledge of where support is, is sorely lacking in the UK. Working out how to latch especially is tough, I had great midwives in hospital but when I was home I didn't have a clue and was bawling. Luckily I managed to get some help but without help I wouldn't have got very far. You're right it's important to share these stories x

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    1. At the time I felt a failiure but looking back now I wasn't, I troed, and I think a lot of mums need to know that x

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  2. I could only feed my daughter if I was lying down as my flow was too fast. Breastfeeding is so hard and you should be proud for managing to do it for a couple of weeks. x

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  3. The lack of support in maternity hospitals regarding breastfeeding disgusts me. On my last baby we waited 6 hours for the breastfeeding consultant to come see me. Infuriating. By that stage I had given her a bottle because she was literally starving.

    Don't ever feel inadequate though you did the best you could mama. One feed, one day, one week, even a year, all that matters is you tried!!

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    1. That's exactly what happened with the second midwife, she then asked why we did it!?

      I feel a lot better with it all now but at the time I felt awful

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  4. Oh I'm so sorry you didn't get the help you needed at the start. It's such a crucial time. There are so many reasons to give up breastfeeding in the first few weeks. The biggest one being that it bloody hurts!! You did so well to last the first two weeks. I think with feeding you have to chose what's right for you and your babe to keep you both happy and allow you to thrive. As mum you know what the right thing is and don't ever feel guilty for that xx

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    1. Thank you :) I have a healthy and happy girl x

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  5. Oh you mustn't feel guilty - I tried with my eldest and couldn't - I did feel guilty for a while, but then I raised a happy healthy little girl. As long as baby is fed, don't feel guilty. Kaz x

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    1. Thank you. Thats how I feel now, I think this post is kind of a closure x

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  6. I'm surprised they had such a lack of support. The hospital I was in was well on for breastfeeding but I was against it from the start. My own personal choice.

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    1. My hospital we most unhelpful and didn't really care at all, apart from that one lady who I'll never forget x

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  7. I think it's great that you shared your story. The lack of support is shocking - I'm at the start of my second breastfeeding journey and am lucky in that I had an awful time of it with Toby but now am confident in things like it being okay to use nipple shields for a whole to let myself heal! There needs to be far more support in hospital xx

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    1. Thank you. I thought there would br more help as all the way through your pregnancy that chuck it at you x

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